Why am I exhausted today? It wasn’t as if I hadn’t planned. I had a list written up. I was prepared to adapt, to adjust, to roll with the punches. Yet somehow I have found myself at the end of my rope right as my husband came home from work.
He came in jovially, joking with me. Instead of joining him I snapped back at him. I was annoyed that he would try to joke with me at a time like this. But I keep coming back to the question, at a time like what? Why with all of my planning, the assistance of my in-laws, and my care to work ahead was I overwhelmed this evening? I think the answer comes with how the days events are affect who I think I am.
My conclusion was that I was going to fail. Fail at what? Good question. Fail at life. Fail at being a mom. Fail at being a wife. Fail at being a host for a baby shower. Fail being ready for a trip coming up in just a couple of days.
And what is my evidence you might ask. Well, it’s that I didn’t cross enough off of my list. It’s that the practice I’d been doing for the dessert I am making for the baby shower had to be revamped about three times before it came out well. I put my list on hold so I could snuggle with my three-year-old who is having meltdowns every single time I say no and couldn’t calm himself down. I couldn’t get the supper I had planned on the table in time. My kids feel like they’re smothering me.
The funny thing is now as I sit here listening to my kids play outside I think the day actually went pretty well. My kids are content. Things didn’t get done today. I have more time tomorrow. And there are definitely things on my list that can get moved to tomorrow or even next week. My sink is piled high with dishes, again. But the dishwasher is almost ready for another load. There’s a supper I had planned to make partially done on the countertop. But it saves for tomorrow and I found supper contingency plan in the fridge pretty much ready to go. My dessert test, while taking longer than I’d like, was successful. And it will save me time next week.
I’m tired because it was a day I didn’t get quite as much done as I wanted. There was lots of problem-solving. And simply the normal everyday challenges of having two toddlers at home.
I guess sometimes all we need is a little perspective and some time to sit back and just be.
And now it’s time to get to those dishes.
Lady Worship Fingers 